Buying vs Renting

When life forces a rethink!

For the first time since my early twenties, I am a tenant.

It still feels strange to say out loud. Renting has always carried a faint echo of impermanence, a temporary state you passed through before you had arrived. But here I am, in my forties, paying rent and learning new lessons about control, flexibility and financial resilience. So let me explain.

After becoming the owner of my childhood home under difficult circumstances, I made the painful decision to sell the beautiful home that had held the best of my memories. It shaped me into who I am and letting it go was one of the hardest emotional decisions of my life.

In the quiet, late nights of insomnia, one truth became clear. Jess and I needed a complete reset. I finally made the incredibly difficult decision to sell this home that I had poured my blood, sweat and tears into maintaining, preserving and improving, as had my parents in the years before. We wanted to move into the leafy suburb we often daydreamed about, closer to the mountain with spontaneous forest walks and dips in tidal pools.

So the house hunt began. I must have smiled (read grimaced) at nearly one hundred estate agents, but either the house sold before I had reversed out the driveway or it simply did not feel right. Renting slowly became the only practical option as the clock was ticking to get a rood over our heads. Horror!

There were sound reasons. We had never lived in this area before and Jess had just changed schools. If, after two years, I decided this was not right for us, the transfer duty alone would feel like a loss. The more I looked at the numbers, the more I realised that buying too quickly or in the wrong place can be a costly form of comfort. Waiting made sense.

And so, we rent.

What began as discomfort became a reminder that wealth decisions are not about status. They are about strategy, alignment and room for life to change.

A Curveball I Did Not See Coming

Two months after our move, life threw me a (another) massive curveball. After twenty five years in the financial advisory world, I found myself without a job.

Despite years of strong performance and loyal clients, the message was blunt. Targets were unrealistic, the environment was tough and it was not enough. I was not enough.

In one moment, the identity I had built my world around was gone.

Suddenly, I was not just a tenant by choice. I was a tenant by circumstance. A single divorced mother responsible for my daughter, my father and two miniature dachshunds (we cannot forget them!), facing a job market far less forgiving to middle aged professionals. Roles I once walked into easily were now out of reach. I was scrambling in an extremely tight market, watching doors I once walked through effortlessly now close (and in some cases, slam) in my face? Starting my own business was meant to be the next chapter. Not the current one. But life does not wait for perfect timing. It was a step taken from resilience, not readiness. A belief that I still had something valuable to offer.

With that shift, my dream of a green leafy safe haven with a pergola dripping in vines and the gentle sound of a garden fountain faded, at least for now.

So here I am. Renting, rebuilding and redefining what security means.

The Emotional Weight of Bricks and Mortar

Buying property has long been seen as the ultimate symbol of financial success. The moment you have made it. But life does not follow a neat script. Sometimes renting makes more sense. Sometimes you need mobility, breathing room and the ability to recalibrate without being anchored to permanence.

The real question is not whether to own at all costs. It is whether ownership supports the life you are building.

Home Ownership: More Than a Roof

For many South Africans, owning property represents security. It’s the dream we were taught to chase, pay off the bond, own the home and live debt-free. For those further along the wealth journey, it can also reduce agility. A primary residence is an illiquid asset. It ties up capital that could be compounding offshore, diversifying currency exposure or funding opportunities.

Home ownership is both emotional and financial. The challenge comes when the emotional wins automatically without considering the financial.

Renting: A Strategy, Not a Stopgap

There is strength in renting when it aligns with your broader plan. It gives you flexibility to explore an area, test a lifestyle or pause before committing.

For me, renting gives time for Jess to settle and for us to understand our new rhythms before making a longer term decision.

Renting can also make sense when:

• You are uncertain about your long term base
• Property prices look likely to stagnate
• You prefer investing capital into assets that generate income or global exposure
• You value liquidity
• Your income is variable or uncertain

In wealth strategy terms, renting is optionality. It keeps you light enough to move when life requires it.

When Buying Makes Sense

Ownership is powerful when it aligns with your goals. A long-term family base, estate planning structure or sentimental connection to a property can justify buying. For high-net-worth families, property can be a stable component of a diversified portfolio and a legacy anchor.

The key is intentionality. Buy because it fits your plan, not because it is expected.

Questions to Ask Before You Buy or Rent

• How stable is my income
• What stage of life am I in
• How long do I plan to stay in this area
• Do I value flexibility or permanence
• Can I afford the ongoing costs of ownership
• What is the opportunity cost of tying up capital
• How does this affect my long term structure and liquidity
• Does this support my next chapter

Good financial decisions balance logic with life, not one at the expense of the other.

The Choice That Matters

Renting has taught me to redefine home. Stability does not come from a title deed. It comes from clarity, alignment and breathing room. Wealth is not about how much you own. It is about how well you adapt. The legacy you build. The memories you create. When the time is right, I will buy again. But for now, this pause keeps me intentional, flexible and light.

Wealth is not about owning everything. It is about owning your decisions.

The Real Lesson

Buying property is often seen as the ultimate sign of success. But life shifts. Plans adjust. Sometimes circumstances force you into a pause or reset. That is not failure. It is evolution.

If you find yourself renting again after years of ownership, it is not a step backward. It may be the first step in a new direction. One where the leafy green vine becomes light white curtains dancing in the fresh sea breeze.